You Can Count On It
by Mystic83
Summary: Ashley Bradler was making a journey over to America to start her life. After meeting Joseph Conlon, she was completely sure what that life would be. Will she be able to survive when life throws her for a loop?


You Can Count On It   
  
Ashley Bradler looked up from her seat on the lower deck of the HMS Elizabeth. A young man had walked into the small deck room and now stood in front of her looking over the railing. Ashley took a quick look at him. He looked about twenty-one with short brown hair that flung itself over his piercing blue eyes whenever he turned his head. Judging from his clothes, he was obviously not an extremely wealthy man yet he was not incredibly poor.  
  
She suddenly realized that her quick look had turned into her staring and quickly grasped the book that was down at her side. Her attempt at breaking her concentration on the stranger worked. Forgetting rather quickly about him, she became engrossed in her book. A tap on the shoulder returned her attention to her surroundings.  
  
"I couldn't help noticing that you were looking at me before. Was there something you were wondering?" the strange man asked.  
  
"Oh!" Ashley exclaimed. She was surprised the man had even noticed her.  
  
After a moment of silence, the man sat down in the chair next to Ashley.  
  
"Name's Joseph Conlon. I'm Irish-born. Lived in Brooklyn, New York most of my life. Only went to England a few months ago to see an old friend."  
  
"Pleased to meet you. I'm Ashley Bradler. I've lived in Ireland all my life. My parents weren't too keen on me traveling to America. I'm so sorry about staring at you. I'm so fatigued and I don't know what came over me." She cut off when she realized she was babbling.  
  
The two sat there in silence once more. Again, Joseph broke the tension.  
  
"If you don't mind my asking, where are you headed to?"  
  
"Brooklyn, New York actually. My mum wants me to go to America to find a better life. Are you going home to Brooklyn?"  
  
"Yes, I am, Ashley." He paused. "You know Brooklyn isn't the best place to start a new life."  
  
"Why not? It seems like a perfectly fine place to me."  
  
"That's 'cause you've never seen it. It's mighty crowded. There are a lot of jobs but none that anyone would wish to have. All the good ones are always taken. Can I give you some advice?"  
  
Ashley shook her head in approval.  
  
"Don't get a job in the factories. It could ruin a pretty young girl like you."  
  
"I'll have you know I'm almost twenty. Thank you very much." Ashley said, obviously offended by his comment.  
  
"And I'm twenty two. So what? That means nothing. Experience and opportunity are what matters in the real world."  
  
"Oh, the real world? You think that Ireland isn't real? I'll have you know that it's probably twice as worse as this Brooklyn. I was lucky to have the chance to leave the country before my mum had to send me to the local textile mill. All my older brothers and sisters are slaving away down there, trying to keep us from being evicted."  
  
"Come on. You don't even sound convincing," Joseph said. He didn't believe a word she was saying. "What was life really like back in Ireland?"  
  
"Okay. So my mother owned the textile mill. But I swear we could have been evicted. If the textile mill went broke, we would be just as bad off as the rest of the townspeople." Ashley paused as something occurred to her. "What did you mean by it would ruin me?"  
  
"I had many friends who worked in factories when I grew up. Most of them died. Factories are full of smoke and ash that coats your insides until you can't breathe anymore."  
  
Ashley gasped.  
  
"That's not all. You work twelve hours a day with no break. And that's only if you were lucky. Most children work a solid fourteen to seventeen hour shift."  
  
"That's horrible," Ashley said. "This is common knowledge in America and no one tries to fix the problem?"  
  
"Nope. The factory owners could care less about the workers. As long as the product gets made. And it's the only way a lot of the kids can make money to help their families."  
  
"That's astonishing."  
  
"Enough of this depressing talk though. I have a question for you. If your family owns a textile mill, why did they send you to America?"  
  
"They want me to build my own life. I've always been a bit of a free spirit and I have no intention of getting into the textile business. They figured it would benefit me more to get a fresh start where no one knows who I am or who my family is."  
  
"Oh. That makes sense. I guess you're still on your own in a new country, right?"  
  
The dinner bell rang, interrupting their conversation.  
  
"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you around the boat," Ashley called as she gathered her belongings.  
  
"You can count on it," Joseph said. He rose to his feet and left Ashley sitting alone in the deck room.  
  
"And what does that mean, Mr. Conlon?" she mumbled to herself as she watched him descent to the lower levels.  
  
The very next day, she found the answer to her question. She was woken up at four in the morning by a loud knock on her cabin door. She threw on a robe and opened the door to find Joseph standing there.  
  
"Good morning, Miss Bradler," he called cheerfully. "Go get something decent on and meet me on the deck." With a charming smile, he was down the hall and out of sight. Ashley didn't even have time to say a word.  
  
Sighing, she put her clothes on and went to the deck. No one else but Joseph was there. Chances are no one would be there for a few more hours. The sun hadn't even come up.  
  
"Well, Mr. Conlon. I'm here. Now what?" she said slightly annoyed at the intrusion upon her sleep.  
  
"Now you stop thinking about how early it is and how tired you are. Start noticing what's going on around you." Joseph pointed Ashley toward the boat railing.  
  
She looked out over the railing for the first time that morning. The sky was lit up into hundreds of different shades of red and yellow. The sun had just begun to peek over the horizon. The Atlantic Ocean was a crystal clear shade of blue that turned faintly green at the water's edge. There were a few small fishing boats in the distance.  
  
"Now, turn around," Joseph instructed.  
  
Ashley was amazed at what she saw. The whole deck was illuminated in a rainbow of colors. She spun around in circles watching the lights.  
  
"How did you do that?" she asked him once she had stopped spinning.  
  
"A trick my father taught me when he was still alive. You break beer bottles of different shades into pieces. When the sun rises, it hit's the shards just right."  
  
"It's truly amazing." Smiling at Joseph, she meaningfully said, "Thank you so much for sharing this with me."  
  
Joseph smiled back. It was clear he was enjoying this as much as she was. The two sat on the deck in silence until the sun had risen pretty high and people were starting to join them.  
  
"We reach America tomorrow," Joseph stated.  
  
"I know," Ashley replied without looking at him.  
  
"Do you have somewhere to stay while you look for a job?"  
  
"Not really. I was hoping that I wouldn't have too much trouble finding a suitable apartment."  
  
"In Brooklyn? You've got to be kidding. It takes months to find a partially suitable home." Joseph paused. "But luckily you have connections."  
  
"Meaning… you?" Ashley guessed.  
  
"Exactly. I know we only met last night but I want you to come stay with me in my Brooklyn apartment."  
  
Ashley was pretty shocked. She couldn't believe this man was being so bold. Thinking it over for a second, she realized she would have to make her first decision on her own.  
  
"Think it over," Joseph said as he got up to leave. "The invitation will always be open."  
  
Ashley once again watched as Joseph walked away from her. She thought about his question all day and all through the night. She didn't manage to get one second of sleep. Morning came and she had gotten nowhere in her quest to make a decision.  
  
Figuring sitting in her cabin wouldn't help her any; she got up to walk the deck. Before she knew what was happening, she was sucked into a mass of people walking in the hallway and led off the ship.  
  
Ashley ended up in the middle of a huge crowd on the Brooklyn Docks. Fighting her way back to the boat proved to be a challenge too great for a small girl like her. After ten minutes of pushing and yelling, stomping and hitting, she finally gave up. She sat down on a nearby crate and put her head in her hands. A tap on the shoulder snapped her out of her misery.  
  
"Joseph!" she cried without turning completely around. Looking at the person who tapped her on the shoulder, she realized that this man was definitely not Joseph.  
  
"I don't know who Joseph is, but my name is Oscar. And yours would be?" the man said.  
  
Ashley took in his appearance before she answered. Oscar looked about twenty-six and rather poor. On the outside he was actually kind of handsome. But Ashley could already tell he wasn't someone you wanted to be around.  
  
"Excuse me," she said, trying to push past him and find someone to help her.  
  
"Did I say you could leave?" Oscar said. He pushed her against a nearby wall.  
  
Ashley got scared and began to scream which made Oscar just push her against the wall a little harder. He needed her to be completely quiet if this was going to work.  
  
When she thought all might be lost, Oscar mysteriously pulled away from her. It wasn't until much late that she figured out why a man trying to take advantage of her would give up when she struggled a little. She immediately lost consciousness as she hit the ground.  
  
~*~  
  
Some time later, Ashley woke up to find herself in a homely little bedroom that was full of yellow tulips. Looking to her right, she saw a window with a view of a few dirty city buildings. To her left was a man slumped over in a chair, obviously sleeping. She sighed rather loudly and the man shot out of his chair.  
  
"Joseph!" Ashley cried. She was too excited to remember the proper way to great him would be Mr. Conlon. A familiar face was the one thing she needed to see right now.  
  
"Yes, it's me, Ashley. You almost got yourself into a heap of trouble back there on the docks."  
  
"I know. What happened?" she asked.  
  
"I really couldn't tell you much. I just found you lying on the docks unconscious. Looked like you had gotten into a little bit of trouble." Joseph lightly touched the cut on Ashley's forehead.   
  
"I must be pretty bruised and cut up from being shoved into a wall," Ashley thought. Looking over at Joseph, it became obvious to Ashley that he was holding something back from her. She didn't really bother to ask though. She knew he would tell her in due time.  
  
"So, are you going to be staying here with me or will you be moving on?"  
  
"Staying with you?" Ashley said, confused.  
  
"You are in my house, you know."  
  
"Oh. I think I'll stay with you for a little while. That is until I find a place of my own."  
  
"Good," Joseph said. "Now get some rest. I'm taking you somewhere very important in the morning."  
  
Ashley was curious as to where he intended to take her. She was too tired to ask about it, though, and fell right back to sleep.  
  
~*~  
  
In the morning, Ashley awoke to a wonderful smell. After getting dressed, she made her way down to where she supposed was the kitchen. Sitting on a long wooden table was mound after mounds of endless dishes of food. There were bacon, toast, eggs, ham, pancakes, cheese, sausage, and more.  
  
"Dig in," Joseph called from around the corner.  
  
Ashley didn't hesitate. Within half an hour, she had devoured all of her breakfast. Finally, a few minutes after she as finished, Joseph joined her.  
  
"I haven't had a breakfast like that since my mum cooked for me back in Ireland," she said honestly. "Did you make it yourself?"  
  
"I'm glad to hear you enjoyed my cooking." Joseph chuckled a little. "Wish we could sit here and chat but you have somewhere to be."  
  
"And where might that be?"  
  
"You'll see" was all Joseph would say, no matter how hard Ashley begged for some sort of answer.  
  
The couple walked down the streets of Brooklyn to a medium sized building that looked a lot cleaner than the others surrounding it. Joseph led Ashley up to the door and knocked three times.  
  
A middle-aged woman answered. She looked like she was about to lose what little sanity she had left.  
  
"Joseph Conlon," she cried when she recognized the young man on her doorstep. "Where have ya been, boy?"  
  
"Here and there, Martha. Here and there," Joseph told the lady. Then, he pointed to Ashley. "Ashley, this is Martha Conner. Martha, this is my newfound friend, Ashley Bradler."  
  
"Pleased to meet you," Ashley said, trying to use the manners her mother had taught her.  
  
"Same here. So what's the matter now, Joseph?"  
  
"Ashley here had immigrated from Ireland. She's living with me down at Shetler House, but she still needs a decent job. I thought of you. The lodging house life is so hectic that I thought Ashley could give you a hand with the boys. Help with the cleaning and cooking and all."  
  
"Of course! Poor dear, you must have been scared straight coming to this country with nothing set up for you."  
  
"I knew you'd come through for me, Martha," Joseph said giving Martha a huge hug. "Now where to start?"  
  
"How 'bout you start by leaving?" Martha suggested.  
  
Joseph sighed and waved goodbye to the two women.  
  
"Now," Martha started, "we're going to start by giving you a tour of this pile of junk we call a lodging house."  
  
"A what house?"  
  
"Lodging. That Joseph and his surprises. I bet he didn't tell you one thing about this place, let alone this business."  
  
Ashley shook her head in the negative.  
  
Martha sighed again and began to explain. "The lodging house is a building in which all of the Brooklyn newsboys stay. They pay five cents a day and I cook them breakfast which you'll now be helping me do. The five cents also gives them a place to stay for the night. A bed to sleep in and a place to bath. Your face is telling me you have no idea what kind of person a newsboy is. They sell newspapers for all the big names in New York City. For example, The Sun or The World. Most make about a fifty-cent profit every day. Getting all this?"  
  
Ashley nodded, clearly overwhelmed.  
  
"You'll meet the boys soon. They should be finished with the morning editions soon. You look around the same age as a lot of the older ones."  
  
"I'd be happy to meet them. Are they all as nice as Joseph is?" Ashley asked.  
  
"The truth? No. But you'll be fine. You'll make good friends with some of the boys. They'll watch over you. I know those boys and when they get a friend who's a girl, they turn into overprotective brothers." Martha paused to grab a broom, which was sitting in the corner of the room. "While you're waiting for the boys to return, you can start by sweeping the boys' bunkroom."  
  
Ashley smiled and took the broom from Martha. After a few minutes of intense sweeping, she was interrupted by a voice coming from behind her.  
  
"Who're you?"  
  
Ashley screamed in surprise but quickly calmed herself. "Sorry, you startled me. I'm Ashley Bradler. I'm helping Martha out with the lodging house."  
  
She stopped talking for a few seconds. She wanted to take in the appearance of yet another new person in her life.  
  
He was on the short side with medium length brown hair, which was in his eyes. He was wearing very worn out clothes and shoes that looked like they had seen better days. His eyes looked very familiar to Ashley but she couldn't place where she had seen them before.  
  
"You look familiar," the boy said.  
  
"I was just thinking the same thing. Have we met before?"  
  
"I don't know. Have you been in Brooklyn long?"  
  
"Not really. I just got here yesterday from Ireland. Have you ever been to Ireland?"  
  
"Never. But I was at the docks the other night. I did save an Irish girl from one of the local goons."  
  
"That was you?" Ashley exclaimed. After thinking for a few seconds, she added, "Who are you?"  
  
"My name's Ben. I'm the leader of the Brooklyn newsies."  
  
"Ashley Bradler," Ashley said, smiling.  
  
"You already told me that," Ben said not moving from his position leaning on the wall near the door.  
  
"I guess I did."  
  
"So, since you're giving Martha a hand around here, I guess I'll be seeing lots of you from now on?" Ben asked, intrigued by this new girl in his lodging house.  
  
"I guess so. That is, if you're really who you say you are."  
  
"Why would I lie?" Ben slowly moved to leave but turned around when he was almost out the door. "If any of the other boys give you trouble, tell me. No girl gets hassled under my watch."  
  
"Thank you, Ben," Ashley said. She was surprised that a boy who was a total stranger ten minutes earlier would be so kind to her.  
  
"No problem," he called as he left.  
  
Ashley continues to sweep the room. Getting wrapped up in her work, she started tidying up the room. Before long, the whole bunkroom looked rather neat. Shouting downstairs interrupted her admiration of her handiwork. As she rushed down the stairs, she caught bits of the argument.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here, Spot?"  
  
"What gives you the right to ask me that? Last I checked you didn't give a cent about my motives."  
  
"Well, you've been missing for four years."  
  
"I'm not a little child. I've grown up."  
  
Ashley got downstairs finally. She discovered the two angry people were Joseph and Ben. Confusion entered her head for the millionth time in two days.  
  
After a few minutes of yelling, the boys noticed they had an audience. Joseph walked over to Ashley. Roughly grasping her hand, he led her over to Ben.  
  
"This is Ben--" he started.  
  
"We met," Ben interrupted.  
  
Joseph tried again. "This is Ben Conlon, my brother."  
  
Ashley nodded and let a little chuckle out. "That explains why I thought I knew Ben the first time I met him. You two look an awful lot alike."  
  
"We both have our mother's eyes," Ben said. His eyes never left his brother's face.  
  
Ashley nodded, then looked rather puzzled. "Who's Spot?" she asked.  
  
"That's me," Ben replied. "It's my newsie name. When I first came to Brooklyn, I managed to get stains on my clothes at least once a day. So they named me Spot."  
  
"Oh," said Ashley, satisfied with the information and surprised that it was so easily given. "What were you two fighting about?"  
  
"Joseph here hasn't seen me in four years. He's a little mad that I didn't tell him I'm back in Brooklyn," Ben/Spot explained. "And he's mad 'cause I took over his territory."  
  
"I could care less about my old territory. I gave this all up years ago."  
  
"Slow down," Ashley begged. "I'm confused again."  
  
Joseph took a deep breath and began to explain. "When I was seventeen, I was the leader of the Brooklyn newsies like Spot is now. I ran a tight camp. There was no fighting or anything of that sort when I was around. I was a legend. But I gave it all up when a scrawny kid showed up on the lodging house doorstep."  
  
"That was me," Ben declared proudly.  
  
Joseph smiled and continued. "The kid said he was my brother. I ran away from home when I was seven years old. My mother was pregnant but I never knew if her baby had survived its birth. When a little ten-year-old who bared such a strong resemblance to me showed up on my doorstep, I knew I was finally meeting my little brother."  
  
Joseph paused for a moment. "Suddenly, I had someone who needed me. I knew that a newsboy's income wouldn't be enough to feed two mouths. I could barely afford to feed myself."  
  
"No matter what, Joe was determined to make my life as easy as possible," Ben added.  
  
"So, I gave up my life at the lodging house. I did what every ex-newsboy had done. I became a copy editor for The Sun. Soon, I worked my way up to reporter status. By that time, Ben had been living with me for a whole year. One morning, I woke up and he was gone."  
  
"And this is the first you've seen of him," Ashley half asked, half stated. "Where did you go?"  
  
"I couldn't take such a structured life as the one Joseph was building for us. My parents died in a fire. My mother's last words were 'Find your brother, Joseph'. I spent six months wandering the streets of New York."  
  
"I can see where you were coming from," Ashley agreed. "You went from living off the street to living the straight and narrow."  
  
"So I ran away from the only family I knew. I found a job with a nice family in the Bronx. I helped the father run his store. After three and a half years, I decided it was time to find Joseph one more time."  
  
"So you came to the lodging house, didn't you?" Joseph asked.  
  
"They told me you had left for Ireland a few days earlier. Something about a great story overseas. Martha told me about the legend of the great Joseph Conlon. She made the newsie life sound so grand that I had to give it a try. Before long, another Conlon leader was born."  
  
The trio sat in silence for a few moments. It was an unthinkably unbelievable story. But it was the truth.  
  
"That settles it," Ashley finally said, breaking the silence. Joseph and Ben just stared at her. They were completely confused. "You two have nothing to fight over. You both made mistakes. Put them in your past where they belong and move on."  
  
Both of the brothers began to laugh. They knew she was right. What was funny was the fact she had mistaken the Conlon fiery temper for full-blown anger.  
  
"Well, it's been nice to see you again, little brother, but I need to get Ashley home."  
  
"Oh, I didn't know you two were in a serious relationship," Ben said. His voice didn't betray his disappointment.  
  
"We're not," Joseph said with a laugh. "Ashley needed a place to stay so I'm helping her out."  
  
"So you don't mind if I ask the pretty lady if she's seen the city yet?"  
  
Before Joseph could reply that he was meaning to show Ashley the city on her first day off, Ashley answered. "No, I haven't seen it yet. Are you offering to show it to me?"  
  
"Yes. Tomorrow if you'd like."  
  
"Good. It's nice to see someone who really wants to do something for me instead of just trying to be a help."  
  
Ashley left the room on that comment. Ben just looked at the disbelief on his brother's face.  
  
"I think you just blew what could have been the best thing in your life, big brother," Ben nonchalantly called over his shoulder as he went up to the bunkroom.  
  
Joseph just stood in the middle of the room with his jaw to the floor.  
  
~*~  
  
That night, the atmosphere around Joseph's apartment was really dry. Joseph wasn't talking to Ashley. Not that he didn't want to talk to her. He just couldn't think how to tell her that he didn't want her to go on a date with his brother. Ashley wasn't talking to Joseph either. But she actually didn't want to talk with him. He had upset her by insisting that he was only being nice to her because she needed someone to help her.  
  
Finally, Joseph made an attempt. "Hey, Ashley." He paused for her to answer. When it was apparent that she wasn't going to answer, he continued on. "I just wanted you to know that I don't think it's a good idea for you to see the city with my brother."  
  
"Why isn't it a good idea? I mean, I can trust him, right?"  
  
"Of course you can trust him. It's just… well… I can't guarantee you'll be safe with him. I can only guarantee it when I'm with you."  
  
"Oh, so you think you're obligated to keep me safe. Well, I'm telling you right now Joseph Conlon. You have no obligation to me anymore. There is no need for you to even communicate with me anymore. We'll just be two complete strangers living in the same apartment."  
  
"Come on, Ashley. Don't be like that."  
  
"Like what? Upset? I think I have a right to be upset. I thought you were my first real friend over here in America. I guess I didn't understand that you were just being a help and you couldn't care less what happened to me from now on."  
  
"I do care what happens to you. I always will. And I do want to be your first real friend in America. It's just that… I was planning on showing you the city. The first day off you had, I was going to take you all over Manhattan. Introduce you to the leader of the Manhattan newsies, the famous Jack Kelly. The kid just won a strike a few months back. My partner got to cover the whole story."  
  
"Really? You were planning on showing me the city?"  
  
"Yeah. And that's why I don't want you to go with Spot. I want it to be perfect. I want you to see the city like it should be seen. With someone who really knows you."  
  
"And you really know me?" Ashley asked with a little laugh. "We've known each other for five days at most. I'll tell you when you really know me." She paused, thinking how to answer his plea for her to not go out with Ben. "I'm going to go out with Ben tomorrow on that tour of the city. But I'll tell him to show me all the tourist sites. You can give me the tour you had planned on. The one where I learn the ins and outs of the city. I want you to show me all the little places that only the people who live in New York City know about. How's that?"  
  
"It's a deal. Now, it's getting late. And no matter what you tell me, I am obligated to make sure you get enough sleep. Knowing my brother, you have an action packed day planned for you."  
  
Ashley smiled and put her arm in Joseph's. She was glad that he was here with her. Who knows how scared and alone she would be without him.  
  
~*~  
  
The next morning, Ashley woke up quite early. Figuring it would be better for everyone if she left the house before Joseph woke up, she got dressed rather quickly and made some toast and jam for breakfast. She was about to leave when she heard a noise coming from Joseph's bedroom. Trying to see if he was up, she tiptoed all the way down the hall to his bedroom door. She tried to push it open without it creaking and was successful.  
  
Joseph lay sprawled out on his bed. His arm was laying on the night table and on the floor near the table was a large book.  
  
"Joseph must have been reading in bed before he fell asleep. The silly guy knocked the book right off the table," Ashley thought. "He looks so peaceful. It's rather cute."  
  
Snapping herself out of it, she shut the door silently behind herself and marched out of the apartment. The directions Joseph gave her the previous night were rather good. She had no trouble finding the Brooklyn Lodging House all by herself. As she neared the house, she was surprised to see the streets full of young girls and young boys.  
  
"Don't look so shocked," a voice called from behind her.  
  
Ashley turned to find Ben staring at her. She smiled and waved him over to her.  
  
"The newsies have been up for at least an hour. We have to be up and ready to sell by the time most people are just waking up. I'm surprised to see you here so early."  
  
"I wanted to sneak out of the house before Joseph woke up. He finally agreed last night to not be mad at me for going on this tour with you. I promised him you would only show me the big sights though. No cute little native restaurants for us today."  
  
"This is going to hurt my agenda, but I guess I can manage just fine."  
  
Ben grabbed Ashley's hand and pulled her down a nearby alley. With Spot leading her through turn after turn, they arrived in Manhattan.  
  
"The first thing you must do in New York," Ben informed her, "is take a carriage ride around Central Park. It's normally rather romantic. At this time of the morning, there's no chance for romance though. Who can fall in love with a newsie screaming in your ear?"  
  
"But wasn't that your intention, Mr. Conlon? Isn't this all to get me to fall desperately in love with you and give up my whole life to be with you?"  
  
Spot chuckled. "Originally, yes my dear. But not anymore. I saw the look Joseph gave me when I asked you to come on this little tour. You obviously have a suitor."  
  
"You've got to be joking me! Joseph isn't like that with me. He barely even thinks about me, let alone in the way you're insisting he does."  
  
"You don't know him as well as I do. He likes you. I know he does. Otherwise, he would have asked Martha to give you a bunk in the lodging house. But no, you're staying his apartment for a indefinite amount of time."  
  
Ashley looked away towards the passing scenery. "If he likes me so much, Ben, why doesn't he tell me?"  
  
"He's a guy. Guys don't feel right just saying their true feelings out right. I'd help you. I really would. But I don't think I have much to use to help you."  
  
"Oh, I think you have a lot that I can use. Mainly, you yourself."  
  
Spot raised an eyebrow and gave Ashley a look of curiosity. He really wanted to know what she was cooking up.  
  
"Ben, you're one of the few people who can really get through to Joseph. He really listens to you. You play a bigger part in his everyday life than you'd like to believe."  
  
"I find that hard to believe. Joseph and I can barely talk, let alone influence one another."  
  
"Fine! Don't believe me. But it's the truth," Ashley said. "Come on. Let's go back to Brooklyn. You still need to sell some papes and make some money today. And I need to get back to the apartment and make sure that Joseph has woken up or plans to wake up some time today."  
  
Ashley dropped Spot off at the Brooklyn distribution office for all the major papers. Quickly waving to him, she ran off in the direction of the apartment. As she got closer, she realized that something was a little off about the street she was walking on. Everyone was stopping and staring at her and whispering to one another.  
  
"What am I doing that so strange?" Ashley thought.  
  
Rounding the corner, Ashley used the key that Joseph has given her to gain entry into the apartment building. She walked up two flights of stairs and entered Joseph's apartment. She was surprised to find him sitting on the couch in the front room, staring off into space.  
  
"Well, you haven't done much with your day so far, have you?" she said as she took a seat next to him.  
  
"Not really. I've just been sitting here thinking about how much fun you must be having. Did Ben give you the whole tour?"  
  
"Kind of. We got tired after a while so I don't think I saw it all. But it was pretty nice. Your brother is a great guy. A real sweetheart."  
  
"That's what everyone says. Truth is he's a real heartbreaker. I don't know how many times I've had to deal with ex-girlfriends yelling at me because my brother used them. It gets to be a pain after a while. Hope he doesn't do that same to you."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean, Joseph?" Ashley said, taken aback.  
  
"I'm sorry. It's just… you two are starting to become friends. That's how it always starts. I meet a girl and introduce her to Ben. She becomes friends with Ben. She develops more feelings for Ben. She says she can't spend so much time with me because she wants to devote as much time as possible to Ben. She dates Ben. Ben breaks her heart. She yells at me about how horrible a person my brother is."  
  
"That's nice to know. Only problem is that's not going to happen to me. I'm not interested in your brother in the least. In fact, I have my eye set on someone else."  
  
"Already? You work fast. You really haven't been in the city long enough to meet that many people."  
  
"I didn't meet him in the city," Ashley said slyly as she stood up. Smiling at Joseph, she walked to the room that Joseph had told her she could stay in.  
  
Joseph smiled at the spot where she had just been. He hoped that the person she was hinting to was him. Determined to find out, he marched over to her bedroom door and knocked loudly.  
  
"What do you want, Joseph?" Ashley called through the closed door.  
  
"I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner tonight. Just you and me… alone." Joseph hoped that Ashley got what he was saying. He didn't know if he could tell her more bluntly. "This is not like me," he thought to himself. "I'm never this bold. I don't even know if she likes me. What was I thinking?" Joseph began to walk away from the door when it opened. He walked back towards her.  
  
"I would love to have dinner with you," Ashley said and shut the door again.  
  
Joseph smiled and leaned against the doorframe.  
  
~*~  
  
Around six o'clock, Ashley emerged from her room. She had dug her best dress out of her suitcase and tried it on. Deciding that it was perfect for the night, she quickly threw her hair up in a simple bun. She wished that she had listened to her mother when she was getting advice on how to make yourself look pretty to a boy.  
  
After ten or fifteen minutes, she decided that she was ready to show herself to Joseph. She slowly shuffled out into the front room where Joseph was waiting.  
  
Joseph's mouth hit the floor when he saw her. The dress she was wearing was very different than the ones she wore on an everyday basis. It looked almost as if it was right off of a storybook princess. "You look absolutely breathtaking," he managed to stammer.  
  
"Well, I do believe that is the best compliment I have ever heard, Joseph Conlon."  
  
Joseph smiled and offered his arm to Ashley. He led her out the door and a few blocks down the road. They weren't going to a completely fancy restaurant that was out of their league. Joseph had chosen a small French restaurant that was small and cozy.  
  
"This place is perfect," Ashley said after they sat down. "You should have brought me here on the first night. I love French food."  
  
"I wish I had brought you here the first night. Then I wouldn't have had to worry about your falling for my brother."  
  
"And why is that?"  
  
"Cause one date with me and no girl thinks twice about little Ben."  
  
"A little cocky, aren't we?" Ashley said with a laugh.  
  
Joseph smiled back at her. "I'm just glad you agree to come here. I was afraid you weren't going to want to go on a date with me."  
  
Ashley looked away from Joseph and focused on the glass of water in front of here. 'This is going to be embarrassing,' she thought. Taking a big breath, she confessed to Joseph. "I've wanted you to ask me out since the first time we talked when you caught me staring at you."  
  
"Well, if I had know that, I would have asked you out when we were on the ship. I guess I have a confession too. I had noticed you before that first day on the deck. I had been trying to figure out how to start up a conversation with you when I caught you staring."  
  
Ashley smiled. "I guess we were destined to start a relationship."  
  
"I guess we were," Joseph said, taking her hand in his.  
  
~*~  
  
After the first date, things began to fly. Joseph and Ashley began to date practically every night. Their relationship was becoming serious fast. The only odd thing was that Joseph had not kissed Ashley yet. Ashley had been very patient hoping that at the end of every date they went on that he would try to kiss her. It never happened.  
  
Finally after one month of dating, Joseph asked her to take a whole day off from helping out around the lodging house. Ashley agreed hoping he had planned a romantic day because he finally wanted to kiss her.  
  
Joseph took Ashley down to the docks where there was a picnic lunch conveniently set up.  
  
"Why, aren't we being romantic today, Joseph Conlon?" Ashley said.  
  
"Today's an important day."  
  
"What's so special about today?" Ashley asked. Then she added under her breath, "It's not like you're going to try to kiss me. Heck… I'd be happy if you held my hand."  
  
"What did you say?" Joseph asked even though he had heard what she said loud and clear.  
  
"Well, you can't blame me. I mean, you haven't even tried to move in to kiss me! I feel as if you don't really want to be with me. Like I'm just a filler until you get a girl you can really like."  
  
"Like?!?" Joseph practically screamed. "I don't like you. I love you. Don't you realize that?"  
  
"No, I never realized that. You never tell me how you feel. You never show me how you feel."  
  
"There's a reason for that, you know," Joseph said quietly.  
  
"What reason? Please tell me." Ashley begged.  
  
"I was waiting to kiss you until you had answered my proposal. I thought that it would be incredibly romantic if we waited until we were engaged to kiss. I'm sorry if I've ruined our whole relationship because of it," Joseph spat out.  
  
"When were you going to propose?"  
  
"I thought that was what I was doing," Joseph said. He diverted his eyes because he was starting to get so embarrassed that it was hard to look at Ashley.  
  
Ashley was speechless. She never expected Joseph to propose to her so soon. She didn't know what to say.  
  
As if he had read her mind, Joseph explained, "I know you probably never dreamed that I would propose so early in our relationship. But I've come to realize that I can't live a minute more without you by my side. I want to wake up in the morning next to you and come home to you every night. I want to be your everything in life just like you are mine. I love you so much, Ashley Bradler." Joseph kneeled down on one knee. "Please say you will marry me."  
  
"Yes," Ashley said with a smile. "Who could say no to an offer like that?"  
  
Joseph smiled and stood up. He grasped her face and slowly kissed her. After a few moments, they broke apart.  
  
Ashley smiled and looked up at Joseph. "Definitely worth the wait. Definitely."  
  
~*~  
  
Months passed as Ashley and Joseph prepared for their wedding. Ashley had moved out of the spare room in Joseph's apartment and into Joseph's bedroom. Their relationship had matured rather fast as soon as they shared their first kiss. They were married in every sense but the legal one.  
  
The night before their wedding, the couple decided to eat a nice quiet dinner in the French restaurant where there first date had been. They figured it was very fitting. On the way to the restaurant, Joseph insisted they stop at a local flower shop.  
  
"You can't go on a date with a girl if you don't have flowers to give to her."  
  
"Even if it's the girl you're going to marry in under twenty four hours?" Ashley asked.  
  
"Especially if it's the girl you're going to marry in under twenty four hours. You wouldn't want to lose her just when you got to the last leg of the race."  
  
"I wouldn't want to lose you either," Ashley admitted. "You're my soul mate and there will never be another person who I could love half as much as I love you."  
  
"Same here. Now hold on. I need to get you some flowers."  
  
Joseph made it two steps and then he turned around to give Ashley a kiss. On next attempt he made it five steps. The following attempt was six steps. As he broke their third kiss, he slowly backed away, all the while staring at Ashley.  
  
"Stop looking at me. You'll get yourself killed," Ashley joked.  
  
"I'd rather die than be forced to quit looking at you," Joseph teased right back as he stepped down into the road.  
  
"I'm not kidding, Joseph. Watch where you're going."  
  
Joseph just smiled and winked at his fiancee. Because he was winking, he didn't see the incoming trolley car. His pain was over the second the trolley car stuck his right side.  
~*~  
  
The next thing Ashley remembered was waking up in a hospital bed, feeling as if something was missing inside her. She looked around the room confused. Her vision was blurred so she could only make out general shapes. Her eyes half focused on the chair that was next to her. A man was fast asleep in it. She felt pressure on the palm of her hand and realized that the man next to her was holding it.   
  
Realizing that this man must know her, she tried to focus on his face. She accidentally woke the man up in her efforts to focus. He looked up and smiled at her. "I would know that smile anywhere," Ashley thought and she laughed softly.  
  
"You wouldn't believe the dream I had," Ashley began. "I dreamed that you took me out to dinner at that little French restaurant down the street, Joseph. You remember? The one we had our first date at? And you couldn't stop kissing me and you ending up backing into the street without looking--"  
  
Ashley was cut off. "Ashley. I'm not Joseph."  
  
"Don't lie to me. I know the Conlon smile when I see one."  
  
"You're right. This is the Conlon smile. It's just the wrong Conlon's smile."  
  
Ashley was slightly confused and tried to focus her eyes a little more. "Ben?" she whispered.  
  
"Yeah, it's me, Ashley. Do you know where you are?"  
  
"Ben? Where's Joseph? Where is he? Why isn't he here? Why are you holding my hand and not him?" Ashley began to panic.  
  
"Ashley, it wasn't a dream. Joseph's gone." Ben could hardly get the words out. Tears began to slowly run down his face. He couldn't even look Ashley in the eyes.  
  
Ashley just stared off into space.  
  
~*~  
  
Ben was desperately trying to get Ashley's things packed. She had been in the hospital for two weeks straight. None of the medical staff could tell what was wrong with her. She had stopped talking completely and was constantly gazing off into space. Ben was concerned for her health. She wouldn't eat any food unless someone tried repeatedly to coax her.  
  
Finally, Ben had packed up all the gifts the different newsies had sent Ashley while she was in the hospital. He sat down and waited for the doctor to come in. After a few minutes, a middle-aged balding man came into the room.  
  
"Hello, Benjamin. How's Ashley doing this morning?" he asked.  
  
"The same as always, Dr. Hamilton. She just stares into space. You wanted to talk to me before I left with Ashley?"  
  
"Yes. I had a few questions. Where are you taking Ashley home to? Forgive me for speculating, but you obviously appear to be a newsies. I don't think a busy, bustling lodging house is the right place for a girl in Ashley's condition."  
  
"You're right. I've been trying to come up with a solution to that problem. It took a lot of time for me to decide, but I'm going to move into an apartment with Ashley. That way I can be with her whenever I'm not selling papes. She'll be in a safe place all day long."  
  
"Not your brother's old apartment?" Dr. Hamilton asked.  
  
"No," Ben replied. "It would hurt her to much to be around those old memories. I've called in a favor on a friend. He found me an apartment on the Lower East side. It's near some friends I have in Manhattan. I figure if for some reason I can't be there for Ashley, one of them could help out. They're great people, and I trust them with my life."  
  
"Sounds like you really have thought about this. Now, you know that Ashley may never return to her old self. She's been through some very hard times. I'd like to say that this has never happened before, but I can't. I see this type of thing all the time. It's just so sad. Try to make her open up a little, Benjamin. But don't push her too hard."  
  
"Thank you doctor."  
  
Ben grasped Ashley's bag in his right hand and put his left arm around Ashley. He led her out of the room and out of the hospital. She barely moved anything other than her legs on the whole journey to the new apartment. When Ben opened the door for her, she just walked into the front room and sat down on the first available chair.  
  
"Okay, Ashley," Ben said as he walked in front of where she was sitting. "Welcome to your new home. I hope you like it. Do you?" Ben paused. "I know. I didn't expect you to respond. But you'll talk to me again one day."   
  
Ben swore he saw Ashley's eyes shift slightly in his direction. "That's a good sign," he thought. "It means she's still conscious in there. I might just be able to pull this off."  
  
"Now let's get you unpacked." Ben put his hand on Ashley's arm and lifted her to her feet. He led her into the first bedroom on the right. "This is your room. Mine's the one right next to yours. The first door on the left is the kitchen. The second's the bathroom. I know it's not the most spacious apartment, but we can make it home. I just know it."  
  
~*~  
  
The next morning, Ben dragged himself out of bed well before the sun came up. He quickly tried to wake up and managed to get dressed in record time. Trying to be as quiet as possible, he knocked on Ashley's door. "Can I come in?" he asked. There was no answer. "Nope. Didn't think you were going to fall for that one either. I'm coming in."  
  
Ben walked over to the bed where Ashley should have been sound asleep. Instead, she was laying on her side staring out the window next to her bed. It looked like she had barely slept all night. He kissed her softly on her cheek.  
  
"Good morning, sunshine. I'm going off to Brooklyn to sell my papers. You'll have to stay in the apartment while I'm gone. Martha told me to tell you to take a little bit of time off. You don't have to worry about going to work back at the lodging house. Make yourself at home here. I had a couple of my friends from Manhattan buy some books for the apartment. Something to keep you occupied. There's plenty of food in the kitchen if you get hungry. I'm not going to be force-feeding you now that we're home. You'll eat when and if you want to. And if you kill yourself, oh well. I'll miss you, but you need to start taking care of yourself again." Ben knew he was being slightly harsh, but he felt it was the only way to get through to Ashley. "I'll see you when I'm done selling the morning edition." Ben kissed Ashley on her head and walked out of the room.  
  
Ashley laid in bed the whole day that day. Ben was slightly disappointed to see her still in the same position when he returned from work. He made her toast, eggs, and bacon, the only thing he knew how to cook. Leaving them on the table beside her bed, he sat down in a chair across the room and began to tell her about his day.  
  
He was so excited to see Ashley's frail hand reach out and grab a piece of bacon that he almost stopped talking. Luckily, he caught himself and kept rambling. By the time he had finished his story of the day, Ashley had ate all the bacon, most of the toast, and a few spoonfuls of eggs.  
  
Ben stood up and patted Ashley's head gently. "You did good today, girl. I'm proud of you." He almost swore he saw the edges of her mouth perk up a little.  
  
~*~  
  
Things progressed really slowly. Ben was following the doctor's order as closely as he could. Ashley had slowly taken more and more control over her own health. Within the first week, Ben had gotten her to sit up when he brought her food. After two months, she was walking around the apartment.  
  
Ben could recall the exact moment that, after the first three months, Ashley began to look into his eyes when he talked to her. As soon as he was positive Ashley was sleeping soundly, he ran out the door and all the way to the Lower East Newsboy Lodging House. The second he was in the door, he started screaming for anyone to come downstairs.  
  
A handful of sleepy boys stumbled downstairs. They knew that only something huge would cause the great Spot Conlon to rush into the lodging house and wake them all up.  
  
As soon as Ben saw his five best friends come down the stairs, he began to tell them what the commotion was all about. "You guys remember me telling you about Ashley right?"  
  
"Gee, no. Who was that? Do you know, Race?" Blink asked sarcastically.  
  
Race played along. "No. I can't recall ever hearing the name Ashley come out of Spot's mouth."  
  
"Hmm. Maybe it's the girl he talks about EVERYDAY!!!" Skittery yelled with enthusiasm at the end.  
  
"Funny, guys. Real funny," Ben said. "But seriously, today she actually looked at me when I was talking to her. She didn't stare."  
  
"Wow, Spot. That's incredible," Jack Kelly said sincerely. "Correct me if I'm wrong. But she hasn't looked at anyone since your brother died."  
  
"Exactly. I think I just might be able to pull her out of this. I can't stay for too long. Ashley's sleeping in her room, but she may wake up and need me at any minute."  
  
"Man, she has you whipped," Blink said, laughing and slapping his closest friend Mush's back for emphasis.  
  
"I guess she does," Ben admitted.  
  
"Whoa. Hold on. Did Spot just admit a girl has tamed him? Is the world ending?" Skittery said.  
  
"Funny. You guys know she's not just any girl. She was going to be my sister. I love her."  
  
"We know Spot," Jack replied. "We're all really excited for her and for you. I think you might want to get back to her now, though. She could freak out if she finds out you're not there."  
  
"You're right. I'll see you boys for lunch tomorrow."  
  
The Manhattan newsies motioned goodbye to Ben and dragged their tired bodies back up to the bunkroom.  
  
Ben ran as quickly as he could back to the apartment he shared with Ashley. He really hoped that she hadn't woken up while he was gone. He hadn't told her he was leaving. To his satisfaction, Ashley was still sound asleep in her bed. This was the first night she was actually sleeping when he checked on to her. "Another small step in the right direction," he whispered as he closed the door softly.  
  
~*~  
  
Ashley's health really started to improve after she chose to pay attention to things again. Ben no longer was forced to prepare her food for her. Now she got out of bed and made him breakfast most mornings. During the day, Ashley still stayed inside the apartment and read the books the newsies had bought her.  
  
Every Wednesday when Ben returned from selling papers, Ashley would be waiting for him right by the door. She had gotten used to the small routine they had developed. That one day a week, Ben would return home with two or three books the Manhattan newsies had bought her. The boys were beginning to get fond of her even though they had never met. Ben still thought it was too soon to be introducing them to one another. He didn't want Ashley to withdraw back into her shell.  
  
The only problem that was really still left was Ashley's talking. She hadn't spoken a word in over ten months.  
  
~*~  
  
Ben returned from his selling one Wednesday with no books in hand. When Ashley saw this, her face turned visibly sadder. Ben grasped her hand and led her over to the couch. He turned towards her and said, "I'm sorry about not bringing any books to you this week."  
  
Ashley shook her head slightly as if to say it was okay really.  
  
"Um… Ashley, do you know what day it is?"  
  
Ashley lifted her head to look into Ben's eyes. He could see tears beginning to form.  
  
"Of course you do," he said, slightly scolding himself. "Joseph's been gone a year now, hasn't he? I know you're always going to love him and wish he were here. It doesn't really even need to be said. The point of all this is I think it's time you came outside this apartment with me. We won't be going out into the scary world right off. I just want you to meet my friends. The ones who've been buying you books religiously."  
  
Ashley shook back the tears that had threatened to spill out and shook her head in agreement. Ben's face erupted into a grin.  
  
"Well, go get ready then. I want you to knock these boys' socks off. They never believed me when I said that you were one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen."  
  
Ashley smiled a little and walked off to her room. Ben was happy to see a slight skip in her step.  
  
After about an hour, Ben was still on the couch waiting for Ashley to finish getting ready. He was flipping through the current book she was reading that had been left on the coffee table when she finally emerged from her room. Ben's heart skipped a beat. If he didn't know, he would have sworn it was the Ashley of a year ago.  
  
Ashley was wearing a light yellow dress that was very flowing. Her hair was up in an average ponytail, but it looked quite elegant. She had been staring at the floor, but when she realized that Ben had noticed her presence, she looked up shyly.  
  
"You look great, Ashley. The boys are going to have no problem agreeing with me." He held his arm out, and she looped hers in it. "We'll take this slow. I don't want to overwhelm you." She looked at him gratefully.  
  
Ben tried to keep Ashley's attention constantly on him and what he was saying the whole trip to the lodging house. He thought that if she didn't have time to look at what was happening around her, she wouldn't get scared. He was right. Ashley hardly realized she was walking among people she had never met. Before long, they had reached their destination.  
  
"Here we are," Ben announced. "We don't have to stay long if you don't want. Just tell me somehow when you want to leave."  
  
Ashley nodded as Ben swung the front door open. She let go of his arm and took in her surroundings. Ben ran over to the stairs and yelled, "Boys! Get down here. You have a visitor and I'm not talking about me!"  
  
About seventeen newsies came running down the stairs. They stopped in their tracks when they saw the beautiful girl standing in the doorway.  
  
"Well, dear me. What do we have here?" Race asked walking up to Ashley. She unconsciously backed away from him a few steps.  
  
"Race! You're scaring her!" Jack yelled. "Hi, I'm Jack Kelly. Are you Spot's new girlfriend?" Jack held out his hand to shake hers.  
  
She shook her head slowly from left to right while tentatively placing her hand in Jack's.  
  
"A quiet one, huh?" Specs yelled from the back.  
  
"You guys are idiots," Skittery said as he pushed his way to the front. "This must be Ashley. Right, Spot?"  
  
"Right. I want you all to meet Ashley Bradler, my roommate."  
  
There was a chorus of ohs echoing through the room. A few newsboys gave her a little wave or tip of the hat. Most just returned to the normal things they do in the "sitting" room. A poker game was started, and a few of the boys sat around the radio listening.  
  
Ben led Ashley to a couch over by the radio. He thought maybe a little music would take some of the fright of new experience away from her. He sat down next to her and as close to her as he could without being on top. Ashley smiled at him appreciatively.  
  
Jack pulled a chair over and sat backwards in it. "So, are we newsboys scaring you yet?" She smiled and shook her head no. "That's good. We can be overwhelming when you first meet us."  
  
"That's an understatement," Ben agreed. "I thought it might be time for Ashley to get outside the apartment, and I figured that you guys wouldn't be quite as scary as complete strangers."  
  
"I don't know about that," Blink said, jumping into the conversation.  
  
Ashley's eyes sparkled as she listened to the boys joke. After about a half hour, she was becoming quite comfortable with the newsboys. She patted Ben's knee and stood up. He watched her walk over to the poker game.  
  
"You wanna watch?" Race asked. She nodded. "Sure. Here. You can help me with this hand. Which cards do you think I should keep?"  
  
Ashley pointed to the eight of hearts and the eight of clubs.  
  
"Just those two?" Race said, surprised. He had a pair of sixs and a queen left. She nodded. "Well, since you are a guest in our humble abode, I'll humor you. But just this once."  
  
Ashley chuckled and watched as Race threw his two sixs and one queen at Snitch, the dealer. Snitch dealt him three new cards. If Race weren't such a good poker player, he would have let his jaw hit the floor. Snitch had just dealt him the eight of spades, eight of diamonds, and the Queen of Hearts.  
  
Ashley smiled, knowingly. She had always been good at poker. When she was growing up in Ireland, she had swindled half the town out of money.  
  
While the poker game had been going on, a few of the newsboys' girlfriends had come into the lodging house. The boys quickly told them who Ashley was and made them promise not to overwhelm her. The girls promised they would try to behave and not scare Ashley.  
  
Race threw down his current hand and collected the pot. He had actually won a lot of money with the help of Ashley. "Remind me to take you with me to all my poker games," he said with a smile.  
  
Ashley smiled at Race. Race was about to say something else when he saw Ben begin to walk over towards them. He placed his hand on Ashley, scaring her. She jumped into the air a little, and Ben couldn't help but start to chuckle. Ashley scowled at him.  
  
Ben just pointed to the group around the radio and held out his hand. She shook her almost fiercely. Ben just kept his hand held out and looked straight into her eyes. After a minute of staring back, she timidly placed her hand in his.  
  
He led her over to the radio and began to slowly dance. Ashley remembered her days at home in Ireland, dancing with her friends and beaus. She smiled at Ben and put her heart into dancing with him. After a minute, the song on the radio switched from a slow, smooth beat to something very upbeat. Ben looked like he wanted to sit down, but Ashley pulled him back. He looked at her in surprise. She just lifted an eyebrow and looked at him.  
  
The two began to dance rather quickly and before long, they were lost in the music. Everyone stopped what they were doing and watched Ben and Ashley. The two were dancing as if they were one. It was quite a sight to be seen.  
  
Almost as suddenly as it began, the music ended. Ashley collapsed into Ben's arms, but not before letting out a little giggle. Ben pushed her away a bit and looked at her in surprise and confusion. She shrugged her shoulders. Ben smiled and hugged her again. She had used her voice for the first time in a year.  
  
~*~  
  
After her dance with Ben, Ashley walked over to the couch and sat down. Within minutes, she fell asleep. Ben chuckled softly at how quickly she could go from being energetic to being completely tired. He scooped her up into his arms and waved goodbye to the newsboys.  
  
Ben carried her all the way back to their apartment without her waking. Tonight, she had made a big step towards recovery. He just hoped that she would continue to use her voice and maybe someday start talking to him.  
  
~*~  
  
Ben waited for weeks to hear Ashley's voice again. After so much time, he was willing to be happy even if she just sighed. Any sound would be worthwhile. Sadly, Ashley didn't sound a peep. There was no real reason why she wasn't talking or making a sound. She just plain wasn't.  
  
Ben had had a horrible selling day in Brooklyn that day. The headlines were so horrible that not even his improving could make the papes interesting enough to buy. He sold about forty of his hundred papers. The rest he was forced to eat. He really wasn't happy about losing thirty cents, so it was no wonder he returned home in a rather downcast mood.  
  
Since it was a Wednesday, he was carrying two books home with that Blink and Bumlets had "acquired" for Ashley. He expected her to be meeting him at the door, restless with curiosity as to what books she got this week. He was surprised to open the door to what appeared like an empty house.  
  
"Odd," he whispered to himself.  
  
He tiptoed down the hall, thinking that maybe Ashley was napping. They had gone to the lodging house the night before, and Ben had been forced to carry her home in his arms once more. He silently slid her door open and found that she wasn't sleeping at all. Ashley was sitting on the floor holding a framed picture of her and Joseph that had been taken about two weeks before his death. She was smoothly running her hand along the curves of his face in the picture. A few tears were running down her cheek.  
  
"She still loves him," Ben thought to himself. "Even after thirteen months, she still loves my brother. It must kill her to have to see me every morning, afternoon, evening, and night. I'm probably a constant reminder of what she's lost." Ben slightly stumbled to his room and grabbed a canvas bag that was underneath his bed. He began to fill it up with his belongings.  
  
"I should never have spent so much time here with Ashley. I was just hurting her. If she could talk, she would have gotten rid of me a long time ago," Ben said aloud to himself. "She's pretty much taking care of herself these days. She can live by herself. And I'm sure that Kloppman will love having her work at the Manhattan Lodging House. I could never ask her to come back to Brooklyn. It would hurt her too much to return to the way her life was when she lived with Joseph."  
  
Ben flung the huge canvas bag over his shoulder and walked back to the door of Ashley's room which was still standing wide open. "Goodbye, Ashley," Ben said in a shaky voice just loud enough so she could vaguely hear him.  
  
She looked up from the photograph and gave him a confused look.  
  
"I know you didn't expect this, but it's time for me to go. You can take care of yourself now. Kloppman can give you a job here at the lodging house. The boys love you, and I know they'll watch out for you since I'm not around."  
  
Ashley began shaking her head vigorously back and forth.  
  
"I'm sorry," Ben said. "I don't know what you're trying to tell me. Listen. I should go soon. The quicker I go, the less it hurts, you know?"  
  
Ashley nodded slowly as her eyes began to well up with tears. She stood up and walked over to Ben. She lightly touched his face and pulled him close. The pair stayed in their embrace for a few minutes. Then, Ben pulled away. It was starting to hurt too much, the thought that he would probably never see Ashley again. He walked to the door, and Ashley followed him.  
  
As he was walking through the open doorway, he turned back to say one last thing to Ashley. "You probably won't be seeing me. I think it would be best if you just got on with your life without a Conlon in it. It's been really great knowing you Ashley. You've… meant a lot to me."  
  
Ben walked out the door, but he left it open behind him. He couldn't bring himself to shut the door on Ashley's face. He slowly walked down the hallway, thinking about what he was giving up. Sometime during her recovery, he had fallen in love with her. He never really told anyone including her. It would have been too hard dealing with her explanation of why she couldn't ever love him back.  
  
As Ben opened the door to stairwell, he heard a soft voice behind him call, "Don't leave me. I love you, Ben Conlon." Turning, he saw Ashley was standing in the middle of the hallway. She had tears flowing down her face.  
  
Ben dropped his bag and ran back to her. "You… you talked?"  
  
She nodded and shrugged her shoulders. "I guess so."  
  
Ben tapped her nose which made her face wrinkle up. Then, he took a step back and held his arms out to her. She smiled and walked into them.  
  
"You're a hard one to figure out, you know that Ashley?" Ben said after a moment. She smiled up at him.  
  
"I know. Get your bag, and come back inside, Conlon."  
  
Ben ran, picked his bag up, and went back into the apartment. Before he could ask her any question, she forced him to sit down on the couch. "So, Ben, why were you going to leave me?"  
  
"I saw you sitting on your bedroom floor crying over that picture of Joseph. I never realized that you still loved him so much," Ben said.  
  
"I wish you would have told me you were there watching me. I might have been able to explain it to you. I'll always, always love Joseph. He was my first love. What you saw was me crying over him. I was crying because I could finally let go. I was… talking, I guess… to Joseph. I was telling him that I had moved on. I had fallen in love with someone else. I told him I thought he'd approve. If I can't have one Conlon, why can't I have the other?"  
  
Ben chuckled. "So, you love me, huh?"  
  
"Yes. Now… how could you even think of leaving me alone, Conlon? Answer me that."  
  
"I thought I was only reminding you of him. And it hurt me too much to be near you. To not be able to tell you that I loved you. I never in my wildest dreams thought you could ever love me back. Not with what's happened in our past."  
  
"Well, I do. You were there for me when I needed you. You stuck by me. Without you, I'd probably still be in some hospital bed. I'd still be a vegetable needing other people to feed me and take care. Now, I only need one person to do that."  
  
"Me?" Ben asked innocently.  
  
"Yes, you. Aren't you going to stay?" Ashley asked, concerned for the first time that he was going to leave her even after she told him she loved him.  
  
Ben pulled her close and whispered, "You can count on it. I'll be here with you from now on." 


End file.
